Thursday, 14 August 2008

I swear Nick, It Wasn't Me That Laughed At Your Bald spot.

35 quid to see Nick Cave in November, if I'm reliably informed.

35 quid?! Doesn't he know all the credit has been crunched and no fucker has any money?*
He's only going to spend it all on more (admittedly sharp) pinstripe suits and Just For Men hair and mustache dye (colour: Midnight Goth Black) anyways.

Nick Cave once kicked the shit out of a journalist for pointing out his bald spot.
Not when it comes to journalists.

*Except me. I have plenty of money, I'm just not going because I've already seen him live this year (pretty fucking great since you didn't bother to ask, cunt). I'm thinking about the rest of you plebs and dole scum for once.

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Sex and the City Movie Sequel: Exclusive Leaked Script Extract



Folks will tell you that lying is wrong and no good will come of it, but I once told a drunk guy that wanted to punch my face off that I was an off duty cop and he left me alone.

This proves almost scientifically that lying can be an amazing force for good because:

A. I didn't get my face punched off, it's right where it should be; on the front of my head, so I'm still totally handsome and attractive to all the ladies.

B. It highlighted that fact that some members of the angry, violent drunk community still have some respect for members of the law enforcement community.

What's the best lie you've ever told?

The most amusing one wins a prize of my choosing. It will be awesome!