Some cheeky cunt from Amazon marketplace has just asked me not to print out their confirmation email "UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY" because I should think of my carbon footprint.
Patronising cocksockets. Do they think I'm some doddering elderly fuckwit that needs a paper copy of everything?
I'll bet they also reckon I keep my life savings under the bed so the "gas man" can rob the lot; think bananas are exotic because we didn't have them during the blitz and I spend my days nursing a single pint of light and bitter in the pub while I wait for the piss I accidentally did all over myself on the way there to dry into a shameful stain on my trouser front; a sorry indictment of my urine soaked obsolescence.
Only to piss all over myself accidentally on the way home again.
I'm going to email them back with that actually and tell them they can print it out as many times as they fucking like.
This three quid wine I bought from the corner shop is rank, what a fucking surprise.
Oh yeah, and happy 9th November to any cunts reading this from 'merca.