Saturday, 22 November 2008

Fuck me, This Took Fifteen Years to Make?! A Fair and Balanced Track-by-Track Review of Chinese Democracy.

Elliot Armstrong commented at 00:24 22 November
It's what the inside of a fat, middle-aged ginger man that thinks it's still 1993 and he's still the biggest rock star in el Mundo's brain sounds like, if you're interested. Which you aren't. Fuck you.

Elliot Armstrong commented at 00:32 22 November
HA! First ballad. Fucking hilarious. P-O-W-E-R-B-A-L-L-A-D-!
Does Axl Rose actually know what his voice sounds like now? It's like an X Factor retard doing a karaoke of November Rain and being strangled at the same time.


Elliot Armstrong commented at 01:22 22 November
Spanish guitar over a fourteen year old trip-hop beat that's been sped up a bit but still sounds really pedestrian, tinkling piano keys, strings and some chugging riffery. Over the top of all this Axl is trying to nail falsetto. A decade and a half ago idiots thought the future would sound like this. A decade and a half later, some really terrible things have happened and the future turned out to be a bit shit, but at least it didn’t have a Slash style solo rammed clumsily down its gullet.



Elliot Armstrong commented at 01:27 22 November

The strings are back and they're epic. In fact, this whole song is epic.


If you're a gurgling spanner factory worker that likes Wrestling and lives in Coventry.


Elliot Armstrong commented at 01:36 22 November
This one actually sounds like the original Guns and Roses doing one of the numerous filler tracks on that double album release they did. Well done Axl, you've got your band of session arses to sound almost as "Will this do?" as the "classic" Guns and Roses lineup did back then. Kudos on this one.

Elliot Armstrong commented at 01.39 22 November
Poke this. Another interminable ballad. This is just boring now, rather than being funny or even slightly amusing; much like these posts about it. I'm going to do something more interesting. You should stop reading this bollocks and go and do something more interesting too.

3 comments:

goregoregirl said...

i can't believe you even listened to it.

Anonymous said...

You didn't pay for it did you? Is there any indication of what he spent $30 million on(or whatever obscene figure it was)?

E.S Armstrong said...

I listened to it free on their myspaz. Aside from repeatedly scrapping whole albums worth of material I seem to remember reading that he spunked a lot of the money on renting instruments. The stupid cunt.